and Tuesdays and Wednesdays etc ad nauseum.
It's been a long time since I've blogged. Here's the reason. I couldn't really give 2 shits about anything.
I have this little mood disorder thing, where I lose my will to live in the winter time, and consequently I lash out at everyone and everything in my life for several months of winter. This year I took some prescribed anti-depressant type drugs so that I wouldn't jeopardize my job, marriage, house family, etc. ad nauseum.
They worked I suppose. The usual paranoia, exhaustion, irrepressible urge to move somewhere, loathing of all demands on my time as subversive attempts to infringe upon my freedoms were absent. So were all of the fun parts of being a whack job however.
The racing thoughts, the all-consuming creative obsessions, the desire to work out and stay fit, the urge to write and sex drive etc. ad nauseum all vanished.
With the onset of spring I've decided to wean off of the Soma. I think I'm out of the woods now until next winter. The days are getting longer, I'm driving home in the soothing orange glow of returning sunsets and I've heard runoff in the storm drains a few times this year already. I'm counting the days until the vernal equinox, gearing up for the first days of dry pavement, days off in the warm sun and asphalt surfing once again.
And with the decreasing amounts of neuro-toxins in my bloodstream I'm feeling human sensations again. Crazy little rushes of awe and wonder punctuated by syrupy sentimental sessions of joyful blubbery. I'm talking to myself in the car more and the work week doesn't stretch out in front of me like Mont Ventoux from the wrong end of the peloton. I'm also making obscure references to sports I don't give a rat's ass about :)
I'm looking forward to summer. And before I poison the minds of anyone considering treatment for mood disorders, I have to confess; this was the easiest winter I've ever had. But that could easily have been the long johns and the toque doing that too, haven't dressed for the weather since I was about 11.
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3 comments:
I highly recommend merino wool socks.12$ for 4 pairs at Costco in the fall. They are gone now. ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL. changed my life from November till April.
I think that having a warm jacket that covered my lower back was huge. The shock of frozen seat on exposed back has been hell in every winter previous. It's pathetic really how smug I felt about my common sense winter wear this year. I'd bundle up and head outside with a cocky swagger, standing tall instead of hunching down, no cringing. There were a few times that I may have chuckled. Next year I'm going to get snowpants too!
And there you have it... physical posture changes mental posture! Love the example Rev. Dr. Chef..
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