Evaporation

I am having a shit day.  I have to say I don't have many of them, but this one is shit.
My soul knows itself pretty good by this point.  It knows what I can handle, how much, and when.  Somewhere inside I have a metered valve for emotional turmoil, an internal IV that gives me a drip at a time so my equilibrium isn't disrupted.  On occassion it backs up and next thing you know I get a full on flush of straight pure pain, too hard and too fast to rationalize away or process down to an inoccuous thought on some cosmic truth. 
I flew into work today, a remote northern camp, still having a drip at a time of my sister's death trickle in.  Upon arrival I found a note that was highly critical of not only my work, but some personal things as well.  Anger, humiliation and grief are my unholy triad.  I have a hell of a time processing any of them.  They broke the valve, all hit at once and the pressure inside right now is excruciating.  I want the seams to burst.  I want to evaporate.