Sunday, August 31, 2008

Coming to the end of pipe.

stooooopid strep throat.
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Sunday, October 21, 2007 at 4:42am | Edit Note | Delete
We have chronic recurring strep at my house. If anyone else has the same problem, this might be helpful for you. And if you have any tips, I'd love to hear them. Here's the deal. We moved into the house we're in about 3 years ago I believe, maybe 2. It was December anyway. It was a hellish move because Janet and I and the kids all came down with strep right in the middle of the move. We were knocked on our butts for a week, with half our things in one house, and half our things in another. That's the farthest back that I can pinpoint a date on a case of strep. Since then Janet and I have had strep about 18 times each. It's hell. For those of you that have never had strep, it's more than just a brutally painful sore throat. It's nausea, body aches that make it hard to move, fever, chills, headaches, congestion and the chance that it can develop to scarlet fever. Tonight I went to the doctor again, got more anti-biotics again (I've gotten to the point where I've quit going to the doctor when I get it because the antibiotics just seem to suppress it for 10 days), and told him again how I've had it 18 times now. This doctor actually listened.
He suggested that we probably have an asymptomatic carrier in the house. The best thing to do he said, would be to wait for a time when we are all symptom free and take the whole family in for throat swabs to identify the carrier. Then we can treat the carrier and hopefully be done with this shit.
In the meantime, taking antibiotics, drinking all kinds of herbal teas with lemon and honey, jacking up on painkillers, going to buy a new toothbrush again etc. Oh, and whining. Lots of whining.
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Will this job never end???
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Saturday, October 20, 2007 at 11:38am | Edit Note | Delete
I had strep throat and a fever and a shovel in my hand and it was 7 in the morning and dark and cold and I hadn't slept more than a few hours because the fridge in my hotel room had a habit of going "RRRRRARRRRXXLXLXLXLXLSLNGNGNGNGNGNGNCHNK!!!" every 15 minutes or so.
The surveyor appeared out of the darkness, I saw his reflective safety stripes shining in the inky black of the trench before I saw him, and he said "Hi, how you doin'?" with that wary and uncertain manner that people greet each other with when it's dark and you can barely see who you're talking to or where you're stepping.
"How's it going?" I echoed. "I'll tell you how it's going. Last week when I was here there was speculation that we would be finished for the year in another week or 2. Now I hear that they've lined up not one but several more jobs, and it's an El Nino year, which means it may not freeze up until late November. It could be another 6 weeks of this"
And he gave a chuckle because he's had to work 14 hour days with the rest of us and he's tired too and he knew exactly where I was coming from.
"Look at this!" I said to him, holding up my shovel. "I shovel for a living. What the fuck is that?! You know what I should be doing? I should be driving a mid size luxury sedan with the heat blasting, straightening my tie and calling on accounts that want to throw their money at me. But no. I had to come and dig 'for the summer'. Here I am 8 months later, and no end in sight."
Yeah, that's where I'm at. Please Baby Jesus, let it snow let it snow let it snow.
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For posterity!
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Wednesday, October 17, 2007 at 2:15pm | Edit Note | Delete
My son peed today. But more importantly, he peed in the potty! This is a first, and a momentous occassion indeed. We celebrated with much hooting and hollering and there were many hugs and high fives. A great feast was prepared, and we encouraged him to libate and eat his fill of all and sundry. We also escorted him to a nearby play center where the proprietors also made a great fuss of this mammoth accomplishment. Great day on the prairie, my son has peed!!!
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(International) National Alert
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Wednesday, October 17, 2007 at 2:04pm | Edit Note | Delete
That Full House Episode Where They Meet The Beach Boys Is On Tomorrow At 3 P.M.


WASHINGTON, DC—The United States was placed on high alert this morning as the Department of Homeland Security revealed credible evidence suggesting that tomorrow afternoon at approximately 3 p.m., 2 p.m. Central, ABC Family Channel will air that one Full House episode where the Tanners meet the Beach Boys.

"We strongly advise all Americans to remain indoors between 3:00 and 3:30 p.m., huddle close together with their loved ones, and sit still and stay completely silent unless it's a commercial," Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said during a live television address this morning. "In fact, we recommend you be fully prepared by 2:58, so you don't miss the part in the beginning where Danny, Uncle Joey, and the rest of the gang talk like surfers."

Although a general advisory to watch classic Full House episodes is always in effect, government records rate this episode as a 9.1 out of 10, or "Superb." Episodes of this caliber and higher require nationwide warnings.

"Based on Internet chatter pieced together from ABC Family message boards, we can say with relative certainty that it's the one where D.J. wins Beach Boys tickets in the radio contest, but she can only bring one guest, and she picks Uncle Jesse, and Danny gets upset, and then the Beach Boys come over to their house for some reason and start singing 'Kokomo,'" CIA Director Michael Hayden said. "We are unable to reveal any more information at this time, since doing so might ruin all the best parts."

"However, I'm confident the American people know which one we are talking about," Hayden added. "Remember? There's a concert, and the Tanners go onstage and sing? Oh, and the Beach Boys do the 'Beach Boy huddle.' You'll remember once you start watching."

CIA intelligence could not confirm whether or not Kimmy Gibbler makes an appearance during the episode.

"Keep your eyes and ears open," said Chertoff, noting that the threat of laughter is "very real" and that the situation should be taken lightly. "It is up to each and every one of you to be aware of the small but memorable moments, like Joey and Jesse's jingle for Beach Butter Suntan Lotion, or that ridiculous yellow blazer Deej wears to the concert. And only through constant vigilance will you catch Danny's 'Smurfs on Ice' joke."

All citizens have been urged to immediately contact relatives, friends, and neighbors and assure them that little Michelle says something adorable, being absolutely clear exactly which Full House episode featuring the Beach Boys they mean, since the band appeared in two other episodes later in the series. Those who do not have access to cable are advised to seek refuge with someone who does.

"Be warned—this is not the one where the Tanner family goes on vacation to Hawaii and Danny has his 'Clipboard of Fun' and they end up lost because the island they were sailing to turned out to be a potato-chip crumb on the map and then there's Joey and that hula dancer that he keeps seeing and something about Uncle Jesse and Elvis," Chertoff said. "That episode is from the third season, and contrary to popular belief, the Beach Boys do not appear in it."

"We repeat: This is not the Hawaii one," Chertoff added.

The announcement has been met with criticism from citizens who claim the warning has come too late, although the DHS has known about it for months. Many are comparing the situation to the tragic events of 4/13, in which the American people were not notified about the Cheers episode where Cliff goes on Jeopardy! until there were only two minutes left in the show and all the funny parts were over.

Chertoff said the DHS has drawn up a recommended course of action for those who may have to miss the episode in the event of an emergency.

"If you are planning to record the episode using a digital recording device, I have four words of advice for you: 'Save until manually erased,'" Chertoff said. "And for those of you who own the second season on DVD, well, lucky you. Go check out Disc 4, the Howie episode, where Michelle says 'Howie no go.' Priceless."

The DHS discontinued the practice of videotaping classic TV episodes and loaning them out to citizens when, in 2006, they accidentally recorded over the latest al-Qaeda tape with the Home Improvement Christmas special where Mark thinks Wilson is Santa.

Homeland Security Preparedness Kit
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Updated about 10 months ago


Political commentary.
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Tuesday, October 16, 2007 at 2:59pm | Edit Note | Delete
This is dangerous water to tread. All I'm doing is rephrasing a comment by one of the contenders for premier of SK in response to comments by another contender. Brad Wall of the Sask Party has criticized Lorne Calvert's plans for a universal prescription drug plan in Saskatchewan. Wall's own plan would only cover certain age groups. Calvert in turn has criticized Wall's plan to eliminate the PST on used car sales. I thought that this was a pretty clever comment by Calvert (although I'm not saying I'm for or against either candidate, just love these kinds of exchanges.)
Calvert said that when a young diabetic reached the age of 15 when prescription coverage would stop under Wall's plan, the Sask Party would tell him "there is no help for you unless of course you want to buy a 74 thousand dollar used Mercedes and we'll take the tax off".
Now that's clever. That's almost Ralph Klein clever. Our politics are so much more interesting than US politics.
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Flatland Grinder: The lesser of 363,485 evils.
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Monday, October 15, 2007 at 2:13pm | Delete
Payment processor shizzle again. It looks like I have to go with Moneybookers, which means indeterminate wait times to get my money. It also means exposing myself to all the risks that I've been reading about; mysteriously cancelled transactions, phantom charges, ridiculous exchange policies. But when all is said and done they seem to be the most reputable of all the companies out there. If I had a million dollars I would move to Malta and open my own payment processor. The poker forums are all bemoaning the state of internet payments since neteller left. Click2pay, one of the less reputable yet popular processors apparently made $60 million off of poker transactions last year. If a guy could hook up with some of the neteller developers and create an identical system he could be rich beyond his wildest dreams. Of course there are inherent risks, but what the Hell? Now the payment thing gets more complicated than simply selecting moneybookers. I have to select a bank to finance my moneybookers account with. But I have to use international bank transfers, which get expensive. For example, RBC charges about $45 to send money to moneybookers, and $15 to receive money from them. My solution is to open a USD account with Citizen's Bank, an online bank. They only charge $23 to send, and incoming is free. I'm glad I've started looking at this funding conundrum early. It's still going to take a week or 2 to set all of this up. What an incredible pain in the ass.
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Ms. Water Buffalo Ms. Construed
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Sunday, October 14, 2007 at 8:33pm | Edit Note | Delete
Boy did I step in a pile of doo doo. My wife came down the stairs looking absolutely beautiful one day, and to me she was reminiscent of a beauty pageant contestant descending a winding staircase to accept her crown. Now the only beauty pageant song that I know the words to is the one from the Flintstones. In the episode I refer to, Fred and Barney are selected to judge the Miss Water Buffalo pageant. The Master of Ceremonies for the evening croons out a beautiful and moving tribute with the following lyrics; "We searched high and low for Miss Water Buffalo to wear the beauty crown." So, overcome by Janet's beauty I burst into my own chorus of the song. Well let me tell you, it took a hell of a lot of explaining to calm her down and convince her of my sincerity. To this day she brings it up and several years have gone by. I told her about my blog entry comparing Alvin to a water buffalo moving through Jell-0. She made some comment like "oh the water buffalo comparison isn't just for beautiful women anymore?". I thought that writing this little blog would be cathartic for us both, but she is looking over my shoulder right now saying things like "You forget to mention..." and slapping me. So I'm signing off now. Peace out.

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Feeling bad for coworkers who have let themselves go.
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Sunday, October 14, 2007 at 11:16am | Edit Note | Delete
Well, it wouldn't be fair of me to name names, because I'm sure they struggle a lot with their image etc. already. So to protect identities again I'll be using false names. "Alvin" and "Hooper" USED to be strapping young men, full of life and vim and vigor. Hooper has of course let himself go, and he's unrepentant. He's in complete denial that he has the physique of a 50 year old salesman. Well there's no saving him apparently. Luckily he's funny.
Alvin still has a chance though. When Alvin first came to work we thought they'd hired a freakin' Chippendale. This guy was 'toight'. And he was a tough guy too. He'd been around the block a few times, was ready to knock out a fucker at a moment's notice. You didn't fuck with Alvin back in the day. Now though (author shakes head, sighs heavily), Alvin has let himself go. The six pack has given way to the collected cholesterol and trans fats of a 6 pack of donuts followed by a 6 pack of beer every day. This in turn has slowed him down. Alvin used to be fast like lightning, floating like a butterfly, stinging like a bee. But the other day at work, I experienced first hand just how slow Alvin has become. He 'accidentally' shovelled a bit of sand into my face, so I purposely kicked a shitload of sand back at him. He said "That's it! The gloves are coming off!" and he threw his gloves down in the sand and squared off. I said "Oh yeah, well the hat's coming off too!" and I reached out and knocked his hat off into the sand. Now see, back in the day, I couldn't have gotten anywhere near Alvin's hat. I would have reached towards it and pulled back a bloody stump of my arm where he would have broken it off. But he's gotten slow from too many donuts and beer. It took him a minute to realize his hat was off, and then another moment to get mad. By that time I was already primed and ready for anything. He moved at me like a water buffalo in Jell-O, slow, clumsy, lumbering, and I in turn moved with the swiftness of a jungle cat. I was all reflex and reaction, all my training and experience culminating in a combination of exploding violence and deadly accuracy. Alvin was down in the sand, I was on top, and I threw a flurry of fake punches just to let him know how close he'd come to being fucked up but good. Then I started to feel bad. I thought of the champion and the tough guy that he once was, and in his eyes, I could see that all of that was slipping away from him. I could see too, that as it vanished, his soul was vanishing too. All that was 'Alvin' was disappearing in this one crushing defeat. I didn't want that on my head. So I threw the fight. I released my death hold on him, and let him throw me down on the sand. Afterwards he said "I don't know man, I think we were pretty equally matched there." I gave a gentle smile, thought for a moment and said "Yeah Alvin, you're right. We were equally matched." Sometimes lying IS the right thing to do.

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Updated about 11 months ago


Flatland Grinder: Neteller, we loved you.
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Sunday, October 14, 2007 at 9:52am | Delete
I'm still in the process of determining a payment processor in anticipation of my full time return to poker (the most optimistic estimates are 2 more weeks!). There is no company out there that compares in the least to the service that Neteller used to provide. To illustrate the difficulty of this choice, just take a look at this thread on the 2+2 forums http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=10246478&page=0&fpart=all&vc=1 My problem stems in part from the sheer number of available providers, but also from the lack of a clear leader in the field. I'm leaning towards Click2Pay. They offer a visa card that one can withdraw funds to almost instantly. Charges apparently a bit heavy, approx 3% per withdrawal. I was also considering Moneybookers as a solution, however searches on Moneybooker have highlighted service concerns, payment delays, and hypervigilant security features that tend to lock accounts quite frequently. I've also received some news that might have an effect on my game plan of playing 6max limit until 2008. Tower Gaming is currently offering $400 in bonus at 5x (highly attainable), and following that they have what essentially amounts to a bottomless 7x bonus. As part of the Ongame network, Tower is home to the very $25 pot limit games I used to make a killing on. Might have to return there. I'm currently paralyzed with indecision.
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Flatland Grinder: Bowman's poker
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Tuesday, October 9, 2007 at 5:45pm | Delete
Alright, I lost all my free party poker money. That's the way she goes. In all fairness (not rationalizing now, just stating facts) I was severely under rolled for the run I was making. It's recommended that you have about 300 times the big bet to play full ring limit, and 3-500 for 6max. I started with a 25 bet roll and ran it up to 140 before it came back down. All in all I think I have what it takes. Since last night I've read a lot more of Pohl's guide, and looked a lot more carefully at my own play. I found that I was overplaying some hands (not many but enough) in early position. I was also calling raises that I shouldn't have been, and that was causing a bit of a problem. So today I switched over to Bowman's poker (and they themselves just switched to the iPoker network joining Titan et al). Today I've been playing with a starting hand guide beside me and using some of Pohl's techniques, like checkraising the flop with marginal holdings to see the river cheaply and drive out weak opponents. I managed to double up the small bankroll I have their playing smaller limits, and clear some points towards a goodwill $300 bonus that they put in my account. I may just have to pursue this bonus, even if it means depositing. I know a lot of you are thinking "I thought you said you'd never play with your own money!" but I did take out and spend my entire bankroll on work gear back in April, so I have to put that back online at some point. I'm determined to master 6max, as the rewards for doing so are too lucrative not to. I mastered no limit, and it's allegedly a tougher game, so I just have to keep up the analysis and stick to the game plan and it should pan out. I'll give it 2 months anyway, starting.......Nov. 1. If by the New Year I'm not showing a significant profit at 6max limit I'll return to nl. I should be able to get in 40000 hands in that time which should give me plenty of time to work out the bugs and then put in a good enough sample size to gauge my ability from. That's all for now.
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